nuffnang

Monday, October 31, 2005

Blogging sebelum fajar nyinsing.

Malam nie, aku rasa sayu. Tanpa teman dan sahabt handai utk berbuka puasa. Lepas berbuka aku terus start keta gi ofis, anta mail kat customer pasal design baru utk solution previous issues kat sini. Aku rasa dari last aku dah anta mail tu tapi macam tak sampai jek. Omputih ni ter overlook mail aku agak nye. Susah nya kalu deal dengan org luar nie. Tapi seronok gak sebab dapat ramai kenalan dari negara luar. Cuma satu. Mesti ada org dengki. Biasa la tu.

H’mate semua dah balik kampung. Yg tinggal stok tak puasa. Selambanjing je bg tau aku ‘sori la led. Aku memang tak posa. Yg ko nampak aku berbuka ngan korang tu sebab saja ja. Padahal memang aku aku tak penah posa pun!’ cakap dia dalam loghat utara. Aku rasa tadi telinga aku nie berdesing je bila dgr dia cakap macam tu. Macam org tak de agama. Nak kata kapir quraisy, badan besar bapak org. aku rasa mak bapak dia mesti dah byk ajar dan berabis duit anta belajar agama kat memana sekali pun la. Kat uitm pun belajar agama gak.dia budak performing art. Bahagian penerbitan. Agak pasal social sangat gaul ngan org2 gelama, tu yg jadik cam tu. Tapi cakap omputih, hapah haram. Dia minta mahap kat aku sebab isap rokok depan aku satu jam sebelum bebuka tadi. Aku kata, tak yah nak mintak mahap, bai. Sujud taubat kat tuhan hangpa semua lagi afdal. Aku kuar terus cari port buka.
Tgk semua penuh. Ingat shah alam ni, lepas weekend tu ari semua umat dah balik kampung. Rupa nya ramai. Lagi mau tanya. Yg nie aphal dok sini lagi?
Tapi aku ada sebab. Sebab keje. Memang saja tak mintak off day. Malas nak bagi alasa nkat bos. Lagi pun aku mana komitment. So nanti lady boss aku anggap apa plak kat aku nie. Aku datang ofis nie lagi satu mungkin pasal nak amik barang aku yg tertinggal. Terlantar tu, on pc, check email. Tulis blog nie la plak. Dah mcm addicted. Terpulang lah bagi sesapa yg nak baca blog nie. Tapi ramai antara para sahabat blog yg sound direct nasihatkan jgn berblog di ofis. Bahaya. Nak plak blog pasal keje. Cuak gak aku mendengarnya. Well, dah kul seploh. Balik la. Tunggu response dari omputih nie plak ntah –ntah pagi esok baru dia reply.

Pepehal, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri kepada blogger semua!

Balik Kampung Journey

Well, actually I plan to drive my Kelisa right thru the misty night. I shall begin my extraordinary journey by tomorrow morning at 2am. Cruising along the way on the old road seems to recall me to an urban legend told by common people that some had gone thru a sick journey. Hopefully there will be another vehicle along the way to my hometown. Luckily my hometown is not in the east cost area where the runs every machine by steam. I had my ‘balik kampung’ journey in daylight with sun shone brightly. It was so hot and sweaty. This year, it won’t be the same. It will be totally different. I will be cruising the dark (maybe alone) thru the old road and highway, both of them. I believe they will be no specter wandering around as what I have been told that, specter; genie and the Satan are tight during Ramadhan.
Actually, I quiet afraid to travel alone, especially in the dark. I do not know what will come what may. May Allah bless my journey thru out the night? And who knows, I will be the luckiest person to experience Lailatul Qadr. I am sure there will be a chance for me to wish the goodness of my life.

Ramadhan break fast in a fancy restaurant.

It has been a weeded last weekend where I had to spend all my day long with task undone ‘to do lists’ from the past few weeks. I’d just could orderly rearranged them back in a whole f*****g day.
Send my laundry, auto balancing and realignment that cost me MYR30 (it should be MYR70) shopping like hell in Sogo and car washed.
Heart stomped when arriving Sogo. People queuing up like hell transforming a mass of spiral which I believe most scientists forgot to do include this in their extra phenomenon studies. The day ends up in Subang where I found the same interest there and grabbed a little to my self, daddy and mummy Raya present and Taada! Off to my bed and sleep. My six sigma at last applied in the shopping list. I save almost USD78 last weekend.
Last Friday, it was an evening fast breaking invitation at Pan Pacific, Glenmarie. One of my suppliers invites me to that damn evening break fast when he realize that we should book first for buffet session. Unfortunately, they’re fully booked. And we went around like empty stomach specter and pretending not hungry enough to eat. Just plain water would be enough. Ivan was so worried that I would scold him (as usual during the working days) but I kept on trying telling my self to be patient and think another alternative. Just before the azan’s berkumandang, I walked by a Japanese restaurant, Furin. My mouth just slipped the word Furin, there we went for a bunch of temaki, maki, tenpayaki, temura and al sorts of Japanese cuisines. I almost had sake (Japanese alcohol) that night but I won’t because you know la it’s the fasting month. I just had the most two bowls of baby squids, which is my favorite, most. We almost end up with USD300 that night for that damn dishes.
Actually, a night before, we had Italian cuisines. Jenny brought us there. As usual, it was just the three of us. This is the most fancy break fast of all my lifetime. First, I had German, Swedish, Thaïs, Chinese, Indian, Italian, and Japanese. I would say that I missed all Malay traditional food like nasi kerabu and nasi dagang, air cincau and cendol (I started to avoid cold beverage long time ago). And guess what did miss most? My terawikh!!!
It’s a year to remember that I have different thought of ibadah. I donated a lot. Doing a lot of good deed. Try to keep my compulsory solat (which I am not).  
And most to be remembered is that break up with my girlfriend. That bitch is a total bitch after her former boyfriend warned me. I didn’t realize that she still having (bitching around) with her former boyfriend. It’s a good sign as well to breaking up with that bitch as I so thoughtful not go serious on her.
Nampak muka baik tapi macam pompuan jalang. First, she told me that she had few friends who always go for clubbing. When they do clubbing, they have to have liquor. Liquor is the satan urine and it is totally haram! Be friends with people like is like having friends with satan. So, she is having friends with satan. I am not going to be friend with friend of a satan? And last but not least, she is a satan! Thank god showed me the path not to have friend with satan. Second, she is a great but fool pretenders. She pretends to be a good cook? Is it a cook or a cock? Let’s forget about her. Let her go to hell! Life will be better without her. There’s lots of good women out there and why I am such a jerk having her all this years? F**k me! And f**k her more.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Kuih Raya Cyber 2005

Baru jap tadi, pertama dalam sejarah idup aku beli kuih raya pakai internet. Actually not practically beli la, tapi just money transfer je. Since aku nie jenis org yg cashless dalam wallet. Nie semua semua nak bagi duit beranak yang tak beranak2 tuh.

What eva it is, aku actually beli kuih raya nie ada sorang minah nie yg boleh dikatakan rapat ngan aku sebab selalu kena refer kat dia pepehal. Tapi dah jadik bini org. nak buat macamana. Klu tak, hmmphhh dah lama aku pinang. Susah nak dapat minah macam dia ni. Yang boleh dikatakan happy go lucky and happening.

Ada sorang minah keeling yang dok sebelah aku kat ofis nie emosi tak tentu hala kat aku. Aku pun actually tak berapa paham pasal pompuan nie. Bukan semua pompuan yg masuk dgn kepala aku. Tapi ada sesetengah tu klu dah rapat memang macam adik beradik beradik. Adik beradik aku pun tak serapat tu. Kenal famili memasing.

Aku tak berapa pasti keeling sorang tu apehal?! Aku malas nak tanya pasal apa dia buat muka bodo dia kat aku tiap pagi. Atau dia nie bodo sombong? Since unit aku nie ramai aunty, so aku tak berapa layan sgt diorang nie. Kekadang aku try nak get along ngan diorang tapi tak leh masuk. Ntah. Satu sebab table manner diorang fail. Attitude memang dah macam aunti la. Takde kelas lansung. Kalu dressing pun sama laaa macam category tu gak. Kecuali Kak Lin. Dia nie mungkin sebab husband dia chief inspector, so dia ada attitude. Aku suka dgn dia nie. Klu time lawak tu, mesti aku buat lawak ngan dia.

Boss aku semalam bagi tau, aku kena ‘giving’ always dgn aunty2 nie. Aku pun purak2 tak paham apa yg dimaksudkan dgn ‘giving’?last sekali terpacul kat mulut aku yg mongel nie perkataan ‘mengalah’.dia pun angguk. Aku tak berapa pasti dari segi aspek apa. Tapi boss aku tu pun jenis yang ada kelas gak. Kekadang aku tgk dia nie macam tak berapa serasi ngan staff bawah dia yg lain. Tapi dgn aku lain semacam. Time dia salam ada sorang mamat nie dari DHL Express, mata dia memandang tepat kat mamat tu menandakan sesuatu yg terpancar di mata boss aku yg macam mata kucing tu sebab dia memang minat kucing.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Buffet Mania

Semalam Marina, regional account manager for DHL Express ajak satu department buffet kat Saujana Hyatt Regency, Subang.
Very nice and cozy. Tapi saying hujan waktu petang nya buat malam tu turf tempat meja makan becak dan lecak. Luckily, our are not outside. Kitorang layan dalam Senja. Sambil layan lagu Mexico band Filipina. Kat luar ada band gak. Band ghazal.
I was browsing around the menu and saw lots of choices. My favourite, sweet sour tempura fish and kerabu perut. No rice at all. Just amik lauk je. Pas tu layan kek and choc soufflé, last sekali layan kebab ayam, kambing, lembu and salads. Terangkat!!!

Balik tu aku berfikir kejap tentang apa yg boss aku cakap. Dia lebih memahami. Aku rasa dalam dunia nie, takde org yg mampu express secara tepat masalah aku. Semalam punya discussion reveal all my psychological problem. Problem with my speech. Problem with my physical coordination.

She knew me very well about my right arm condition. And she told me that I have done it more than what normal individual did. Revealing my psychological problem is not an easy job. But, yesterday is the day when she has to tell me directly. I manage to make her tell me that I am not having the emotional problem but to have another psychological problem. It is the speech.

My speech has to be simple yet direct to the point. It reflects the way in which am I thinking al the way down this years.

Today, I am going to have another break fast today with Jenny from Nefab Malaysia. The companion hopefully will be four of us: Jai, Kak Ina, Azarul and me. Just the four of us. We will be having Italian for break fast this evening. We’ve just love diversification. Say no to spaghetti bolognaises. I am into some thing different. Just wait for the menu then.

Today also, I am waiting for my director’s confirmation upon my position. I shall not too confident about this whether it is fortunate or unfortunate thing. My boss did give me the confirmation verbally. This isn’t reliable enough.  It is something that uncertain and afraid to deal with it. We serve our God with different option given from Him. But then we have to think what is the goodness behind each creation. God give us opportunities. Let’s pray upon my confirmation. Dapat tak dapat, I have to think positive. Kalu tak dapat, that’s mean, I have another opportunity to work in my hometown, by the way.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Bunch of Aunties (MIXLF)

What a lovely surprise!

Yesterday, today, tomorrow and the after tomorrow I am having series of feast. I am not sure that will be the best practice to lose weight. Although, I have to refuse, I am not so sure whether it’s good idea or not. This is the week full of surprise.

Deeply, running thru my veins, is the blood stream of anxiety and consciousness on my decision whether I should accept the offer or else. Else mean by I shall seek for another opportunity around my hometown. I am not kind of blessed individual who have lots of friends in my hometown. I’d rather to have more outside. It’s time for me to seek for another chances to make lots of companion here, in Malacca. But I am not sure how is it going to be. Whether I am blessed today by receiving good news from my superior or shall put forward my left foot outside the office for me to get ready for another goddamn episode of another life. That will be living with my parents. Isn’t it sounds like a spoil brats, though?
By hook or by crook, I shall seek for another opportunity to live apart from them but to live nearby them. Come on, brain, and think something out of it. I shall squeeze a little bit to some ideas.

There would be a lady sitting next beside to me who supposed to be my companionship. But then she is kind of aunty although she is a year older than me. I am not so sure whether is it true or not. But, most of girls I asked will know some or a little bit of latest movies, latest video clips and anything up to date. But, it is different in my unit. All this so called aunties seems doesn’t to mix around with the current issues and drive me nuts. They are working around the clock like hell but forgotten to at least watching AXN or HBO.

There was a time when we laughing on this cartoon series ‘Chicken and Cow’. Therefore of them seems to get blurred of what we are laughing about. Obviously, they are bunch of numb nuts. And I am with them. WTFAFB!  

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Dying me (Quiting smoking)

I realize, some people around me are always underestimating me. I am not sure what are the reasons behind or perhaps I am such a sensitive person. That sensitivity seems to kill me psychologically from inside. Or is it because of my physical appearance? Recently I gained some weight and so much anxiety on them. It’s seems also my health is getting worse.
Most of my housemates smokes cigarette. Myself, I have already given up that bad habit. Though, some people say that giving up smoking might facing some symptoms like weight gaining, coughing more than before giving up smoking et cetera. What a sacrifice shall I face on? Do I have to gone thru this suffer all this while?
I am trying to achieve the quality of life thru health conscientiousness. Am trying to be wealthier than before until I found that my first lady thru a conference call saying she will extend my probation and yet to confirm me. But I am not so sure how soon. Am I not doing very well all this days? Or are there any circumstances that force her to have less confidence on me. I believe I love to mix with people around me. I love a nature of job that requires me to travel and meet with a lot of people but not that kind of sales person or something.
Last night, I was so worried about today’s agenda. She’s going to have a session with me for this confirmation. I have been thinking all night that I should open a serious business. Or I shall force my self to get into the government sector. But I couldn’t to do that. In Malaysia, we have to play cronies in order to have a place in government sector. It’s not based on qualification, but then those who have relative who have titles and what so ever.
I shall involve in food business, I guess. I have some expert on food and beverage. I shall name the restaurant after my mother’s name, Aunty Nyaros Café.
Isn’t it sounds like Baba and Nona?

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Somewhere only we know

Peace is upon every Allah creation….

I woke early this morning for 4am sahur. I thought I saw some of my housemate burnt the midnight oil for some XXX shows. A Typical-growing teenager, so does it says from that situation. How do I educate them? Perhaps thru words of wisdom??? I don’t think so.

I am still seeking for place that could be the tranquility realm. At a first place, I was seeking for something happening. But then I realized there might be something missing about it. It’s all about living with people surrounding you. Not to mention, how does this factor affect our live, indeed. For some reason, I should advise my self to move out.

Seeking for a place nearby the office is another issues. Please Allah! Show me a sign!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Metafizika

Again, Dear Ms. Blog,

Antara reason kenapa aku cakap, I am dying mungkin sebab aku demam ari. Tapi kugagahkan kakiku ini utk ke ofis meskipun kudratku pagi tadi hanya dapat melangkah hingga ke bilik air. Terkadang dapat aku rasa, seakan aku hadir di satu lokasi di rumah sewa ku, tapi tidak dapat aku rasa secara fizik. Hanya metafizik sahaja. Aku tudak pasti samada ini adalah satu ilusi atau satu aktiviti paranormal.
Pernah ku tonton rencana ini dalam Discovery Channel memaparkan kisah metafizik hidup manusia di luar sedar. Kuasa Allah menjadikan sesuatu itu dgn asbab tertentu. Pernah aku dapat lihat lahiriahku di hadapanku. Dah macam dalam twilight zone la plak.  

Tekakku perit. Belakang tengkuk ku sengal dan bisa. Kepala ku berat tak mampu berfikir. Dahiku panas. Mataku seakan kabur dari pandangan duniawi.

Beautiful Mind without Beutiful Life

Dear Ms. Blog,

I had the most beautiful weekend spending with my sister’s only rug rat, tickling all over the floor like hell until she burst into tear of laughter. Isn’t it lovely?

I bumped my ass into the couch and have a long thoughts, when will I have children. I am having a feeling that I am dying in the most recent time. FYI, I always plans how to die in the most subconscious way. So that it won’t to be considered as a suicide. Think! Think! If in case any of you read this, don’t freak out. I am doing this for real. But the method, I haven’t figured it out, yet.

One of the reasons is that maybe I am struggling with my self. Having a feeling to be lonely is painful and most of the time sinful. Having a beautiful mind is not guaranteed this entity will be having a beautiful life. It seems that my attitude is having problem.

Am I too arrogant? Should I die, slowly?

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Liza Iznarida

Six sigma, six sigma….I am sick of six sigma. Boleh la aku panggil six sickness. Sampai analyse phase aku dah blur giler. Memula, mentor aku cakap, analyse phase aku tak leh nak apply memana statistical tool. Guna yg sempoi punye. Last sekali setelah memerah otak sampai otak aku dah jadik hampas kepala, baru kuar skit. Tu pun samar2 dia X1 factor. Ada baik nya aku tulis blog lagi puas ati. Time aku layan lagu Keane, ada sekor minah email aku tanya pasal shipping manager kat sini. Ingat aku ni steno dia, huh….relax….jgn terlalu ikut perasaan. Keje memang melambak. Cuma klu organize bebetul, baru nama lagi byk keje nak kene buat. Apa ni?!?!?!
Plan nak berbuka kat kat KL. Tapi actually, there’s nothing there rather than penat, traffic jam lagi. Gila. Baik aku berbuka ngan housemate aku yg gila. Tak pun dgn x roommate aku dulu. Tapi tak de idea nak berbuka kat mana. Si minah liza nie plak aku anta msg bukan nak jawap. Apa kredit abis, tanya le aku. Boleh le aku top up kan.

Tah macam mana bila aku teringat kat Liza, aku teringat first love (utada hikaru) aku time kat UiTM melaka. Hubungan aku setakat habis belajar. Pas tu dah lost contact.tu pasal bila aku terdgr lagu utada hikaru, mesti ingat liza iznarida. But then, klu dah cinta tak berpanjangan, nak buat macmana. Kitorang tak clash and takde gado2. aku rasa agak terkilan bila aku try contact memang 4 sekawan dia. Diorg seakan macam ada hal ngan aku yg tak penah diorang nyatakan kenapa.

Aku pun bingung sampai skang nie. Kawan dia punya kawan pun bila aku mintak nombor baru dia pun tak nak bagi. Ada yg kata dia dah kawin. Ada plak kata belum. Yg mana satu nih….!?!!?!?tapi satu perkara yg aku tak leh lupa pasal dia. Suara dia. Aku tak jumpa lagi sesapa yg bersuara manja macam dia. Tu yg membuatkan aku terlalu mencari pasangan seakan dia. Dia nie anak yatim piatu. Takde ibu dan ayah. Kakak dia yg tak care of her. Kesian. Tapi abg dia ada bukak bisness kat KLCC. Mungkin klu aku lepak2 kat sana tiap hari, mesti jumpa. Klu dia keje ngan abg dia la.

Selama dua tahun aku menyepi membawa diri. Cuma teman seprogram yg ada sambung degree. Tu pun memasing perangai macam pucuk rebung. Bila time susah jek carik member. Dah dua tahun lepas grad aku tak jumpa diorang. Cuma ada yg macam ngelak dari aku. Tak tau sebab apa. Kawan2 liza seingat aku ada yg keje dgn forwarder. Tapi tak plak penah aku pegi ofis diorang. Tak nak la aku jadik macam org jual kain dari umah ke umah. Lantak la.

Kat shah alam nie aku rasa tak byk tpt nak hanging out. Boring. Berbuka kat umah je la senang abis citer.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Perempuan, isteri dan ...

Ari nie memang panas. Luckily, kat ofis, aku terpaksa pakai jacket. So terasa macam kat Lund aje. Ngantuk sesangat ari nie. Last sekali aku terjelepok kat kerusi imported from Sweden aku tu. Tido mati. Gowri sebelah aku usik pun aku tak sedar. Rasa badan nie lemah sgt. Tiap hari aku bertekad utk mengoptimakan ibadat aku. Tapi macam tak jalan jek. Kurang determination agak nya. Si A dah lama tak call aku. Msg pun takde. Lantak la. Macam aku tak tau.

Penah sekali x balak dia sound aku kata ‘ko nak amik, amik la! Dia dah jadik hampas aku…’ aku terkesima seketika. Lama jugak aku memikirkan tentang hugungan aku dgn dia macam mana nanti klu dah sampai ke tahap yg serious. So skang nie aku macam main tarik laying laying. Masih mencari. Tak pasti apa yang aku carik. Kekadang manusia especially kaum hawa nie ada yang pandai berpura2.

Aku dapat advise drpd housemate aku Tanya macamana. So rerata kebykannya suruh aku dump her. Aku rasa malam aku express kan masalah aku kat diorang, dah macam dalam congress. Memasing mengeluarkan point memasing. objektif:Samada aku tinggalkan dia ke tak. Tapi malam tu memang matlamat tu sampai tapi keseluruhan kesimpulan menasihatkan aku utk pasang bebyk. Amboi…. Kalu aku nie jenis yg byk duit, pakai Ford Focker ke ok laaaa. Nie kelisa jek. Botak aku. Mak aku tanya kenapa ada keta naik bas? Aku jawap nak carik bakal menantu mak aku. Mak aku terdiam sekejap mengenangkan betapa desperatenya aku dalam mencari bakal bini.

Klu nak diikutkan, bakal bini tu dah memang compulsory la mesti lawa dan sedap mata memandang. Macam anahita bakavoli ke, Catriona ross ke, Milla Jovovich ke..Ceh, taste kemain lagi. Aku nie bukannya hansem mana pun. tapi betul la dalam cerita Sweetest Thing (Cameron Diaz) kat... ‘don’t look for Ms Right. But look for Ms Right Now. Soon the ‘now’ will fall off.Tapi kebanyakan Ms Right Now yg aku jumpa semuanya.. maleh aku nak cakap. Aku just anggap diorang teman biasa. Macam dalam lagu Aishah, Di antara cinta dan kekasih. Jiwunk 24 karat la plak. Tapi yang pasti aku menggunakan kedua2 method utk mencarik pasangan yg ideal. Ini semua sebab adik aku yg suruh aku baca Cleo magazine. Bakal bini aku tu mesti pandai masak sepandai macamana mak aku masak lemak kobis, ikan masin sambal belacan. Ya Allah puasa2 macam nie fikir pasal makan dah terliur dah. Takpe. Simpan utk buffet ptg karang. Ada forwarder belanja. Bayangkan klu ada 5 forwarder. Ada 5 buffet kat hotel. Tak termasuk supplier lagik. Ni la yg dinamakan rezeki.




Ivana Humpalot

Pepagi buta, Ivan dah anta email, selambak email dtg pagi nie. Nak kena check sesatu. Paling aku bengkek giler tu klu email tah apa apa ntah dari HR atau general ofis. Nak je aku deviate email tu ke tong sampah. Bukan nye aku baca pun. Mengabehkan bogheh jo. Apo tao nyo. Ceghito org betul kan paip kat blakang tu la apa la and what so ever.

Sebut nama Ivan, teringat Ivana Humpalot dalam Austin Power.

Alamak! Kepala aku dah pening balik. Mesti high blood pressure. Tak check lagi. Sahur terlajak lagi. Malam tadi sebelum gosok gigi utk tido, sempat aku grab sedozen chocalate yg abg ipar aku bawak dari Qatar, setgh dozen toblerone and memcam lagi. Gemok aku camni kalu tiap hari dok sental coklat. Berlambak kat kampung. Mak aku tak mampu nak abis kan summer tu. Selaku majlis bandaraya, aku ditugaskan utk menjadi tong sampah utk menyental segala leftover kat kg. Dgr macam hina jek keje tu kat kg kan???

‘Ivan, I wish that you could…..’ tu la ayat yg selalu aku lontarkan kat Ivan.

The Office

Jenny called me Just now from Nefab. Discussing as usual updates on order and supplies. Nothing much was said just now. I think she’s the one who I supposed to be talk to almost, most of the time. Both of us are professionals dealing with parties at the back there, the pick packers. They can be considered as our end customer before the good arrive to the real end customer Sony Ericsson.

I had it enough by today when leaving all my grief behind the wheels and shut off the shutter of my heart as I begun to jot something on my PDA. Suddenly coming out from nowhere, my right retarded arm move the joint to the mouse and click to this blog. I have seen the documentaries showing that some of the brain cell reacts spontaneously. I am not a techie kind of guy to know more on this but it’s just a basics norms. I am afraid that I will be addicted to this blog.

Another tomorrow past when I heard that my beloved hot and sizzling superior together with my officemate will be off to Senai Flex for some freight meeting I guess. If not involving her, it’s not what we call the freight meeting. Tomorrow, my unit will be a graveyard. Silence and curiosity kill the cat most of the time. I didn’t really realize whether Mythbuster in AXN does really conducting this kind of experiment. While I was creating this blog, I really have the opportunity to thank my old friend from the past for giving me idea (accidentally and non verbally) to create a blog which I think that It could have a better solution to ease the internal pain. I don’t really bother what kind of pain but still I can feel it from inside.

My second superior, Azarul just called to call off another order for the coming O2 hand held to UK. What a mess requirement. Just a few weeks before, one of my project team, Stefan Ehrling harshly was coming down all the way from Lund to inspect the shipping requirement for O2 UK, one of his most important and potential customers. Its glad to say that he did satisfy some of the requirement and forced to approve all the specification.

I am exhausted to attend a meeting with suppliers sometimes when same old lame quotation laid in front of me. There is so much things to be done tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

BHH267


Ari nie anta plan berbuka kat memember. Macam last year, tak ramai yg datang. Kebanyakkanya guys. Yg pompuan biasa la dgn bebalak memasing. aku anta kepada mereka yg berkenaan sahaja. Yg datang nak makan free semata, boleh blah. Maksud aku, kepada mereka yg masih tiada pendapatan tetap, esp sales.

Diorang harap dapat sales giler2. tapi pakai keta gempak gedabak. Tapi setakat nie yg aku tgk dah nak dekat dua ke tiga tahun lepas grad, dia masih macam tu gak. Bukan nak kutuk. Tapi seolah dia macam berangan mat jenin. Nak pakai Evo 8 laaaa, Civic Type R laaa. Hey, C’mon laaaa. Be optimistic. Memang ada vision, tapi kekadang tu, macam tak mampu nak keja. Aku pakai kelisa nie pun nak kira bersyukor walau hakikatnya aku mampu pakai Vios. Satu sebab aku beli keta nie dgn duit second job aku. So byk la kenangan manis bersama kelisa aku tu. BHH267. Dulu pernah aku namakan keta aku tu sebagai Anabelle. Nama Russians la plak.

Tak byk perubahan yg aku buat utkk keta aku tu. Ramai org berminat suruh aku jual keta tu kat diorang. Tak tau apsal. Mungkin pasal nombor keta tu ot. Aku tak berapa pasti. Memang ramai yg puji keta aku tu warna and nombor dia memang kena. Tu pasal aku sayang nak jual. Klu aku jual pun rugi. Kekadang pepagi tadi lagi aku dah kuar umah menuju ke ofis. Macam biasa, sekor antu pun takde. Kecuali Kak Lin, staff yg agak baru kat department aku. Kebykannya aunty2 belaka. So takde yg menarik.

Weekend nie memang plan nak balik kampung. Tak de org manjang. Teman kan mak aku yg keseorangan. Selalunya kak long aku yg temankan. Cucu2 la yg ada. But summer dah gi Qatar, memasing put their eye ball on me….Rimas….

Cerita seorang Hawa yg membawa malang dalam hidupku.

Kekadang bila aku terfikir, pasal relationship aku dgn ada sorang gurl nie. Biar aku gelar dia A, Tah la…..Kekadang tu rasa sakit jiwa pun ada gak.  Dia hadir dalam hidup aku secara tiba tiba dan membawa seribu satu malang dalan hidup aku. Dia nie terlalu baik dan skima. Macam ada satu watak dalam Desperate Housewife.

I need a girl that can really have the passion in my relation ship. It’s not just lame dates or talking something common. Oh Dear God, pls drop me a number so that I can call her and ask her to be my wife. She’s been wandering around my life hoping that I could express something that really impress her like ‘I luv you’ or what so ever.

I had it once before I met her, there’s a girl who really cares about me, a lot. To some people especially my parent, they wouldn’t let their son to be looked after by some witch bitches that have always be kind in the pre marriage age, but turn into a horrible ‘house of horror’ then. I know that their hopes that I could manage to find a lady of their dream to take care of them when veteran age is already arrived. It’s so sad to say that I am still searching for Mrs. Right. Once I experience once a series of Ms. Right Now. There’s quiet few numbers of them who has always approaching me several times.

Setiap hari aku memikirkan tentang masa depan aku yg agak kelam dan suram. Keje tak confirm lagi. Hidup aku skang nie lebih byk teka teki drpd jawapan. Kenapa la hidup aku tak seperfect ada sesetgh org tu. Time belajar, mak ayah sediakan motor. Senang idup diorang. Seolah macam mak bapak diorang sentiasa ada duit.  Mungkin ada baik nya aku melupakan A buat sementara waktu. Disebabkan A aku menanggung hutang yg agak besar. A seolah memandang segalanya positif. Lurus bendul la katakana. Kekadang tindakan dia tu satu tindakan yg bodo. Tindakan diluar kawal. Kekadang aku bagitau suruh dia tunggu kat KLCC. Bila dia call aku, aku cakap aku stuck kat KL sentral. Dia pegi kl sentral. Dalam hati aku memang tak cakap apa .Satu perkataan yg yg berlegar dalam pala otak aku. BODOH!Last skali , date malam tu macam sial. Aku klu bercerita ngan dia pun mcm nak tak nak. Nyesal  betul2 nyesal. Aku dah nekad. That will be the last time I saw her, sms her and what so ever.

Semalam time boss aku Tanya aku pasal analisis data, aku blank. Mana tak nya. Pakai seksi. Terdedah sana. Terdedh sini. Kalu bukan bulan puasa, dah lama dah jadik lauk. Tapi dia tu high maintenace punyer org. sori. No room for this kind of people. Let’s forget about it for a while.

Pagi tadi aku terlupa bangun sahur. Lepak la aku ari nie. Kepala aku pun tgh pening skang nie. Ngantuk pun ada. Sakit perut pun ada. Nie summer pasal babi semalam tu yg buat lawak bangsat kat aku pepagi buta.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Sahur, aweqs and blah blah blah

Sahur tadi makan penuh selera. Walaupun lauk sejuk ibu aku masak untuk berbuka malam tadi tapau bawak balik shah alam. Terbangun bila dgr housemate aku sorang budak Utagha kecoh tak tau pasal apa. Kebetulan, lepas sahur tadi, ada senario, kitorang gelak sekor2 macam setan. Dah perangai sesekor pun macam setan. Gelak pun macam setan. Masuk bilik, nampak katil, terus benam kan muka aku kat tilam angin aku tuh.

Bebangun pagi, tgk dah siang! As usual, subuh burned.Bangun lambat. Baju gosok tahapaapantah. Ignition. Terus lagu Prodigy kedengaran. Bawak kelisa aku macam bawak vios. Mana tak ranap keta tu. Tetau, sampai ofis, sekor antu pun tak de. Seram pun ada. Sakit ati pun ada. Bebudak aku as usual, masuk ofis macam mak ayah diorang punya. Diorang byk time off. So boleh la buat macam tu. Aku punyer time off tak penah apply pun. Start drpd last week aku apply. Baru dapat dua tiga jam. Nak plak bulan puasa ni memang tak de la opportunity.

Titanium kat tangan aku ni apsal la buat hal manjang. Tak penah penah rasa nilu, ari ni plak for the first time, bila doctor implant last two years. Tak tau bila nak bawak kuar. Ada ke bebudak aku suruh aku jual kat E bay? Ada plak dah siap book besi tu utk buat balancing iron golf diorang. Memang benda tu kecik and sempoi, tapi harga dia boleh buat down payment Peugeout 207.Ada plak engineer kat tempat aku suruh aku buat eksperiment ketumpatan titan dalam air. Ni mesti terpengaruh dgn citer Charlie’s Angel:Full Throttle. Tak sedap betul nak menaip.

Balik ampung last week memang sunyi giler. Kak long dah fly ikut abg ipar gi Qatar. Bawak anak beranak summer. Klu tak, umah kampung kecoh dgn suara bebudak tu. Adik pun tak tau bila nak fly gi indon ikut adik ipar outstation kat sana 4 bulan. Memintak lepas raya. Kalu tak, mau nye tak meraung di pagi raya sebab for the first time dalam idup aku beraya tiga beranak. Rasa macam sebatang kara plak. Silap ari bulan aku kena beraya kat bali atau langkawi dgn mak ayah aku. No point beraya klu adik beradik tak de di sisi. Tapi aku rasa tak de la sampai se extreme tu. Mungkin aku kene jadik driver bawak diorang ke sana ke mari cari bakal bini utk aku la kot.

Tah la…..yg ada skang nie pun, macam tak best jek. Memasing dok jauh. Tak de masa nak jmpa tiap ari. Sebaya and not my taste. Tapi kitorang dah berkawan lama dah. Aku dah merasa air tgn dia masak lauk la. Kuih la. Macam2 la. Tapi dalam ati nie aku masih tercari2 bakal gadis yg ku impikan. Klu ada pun, summer nye dah ber punye atau buat2 dah ber punya padahal masih single sebab ego tinggi nak mampos. Memang muka lawa. Tapi lagi teruk kalu muka dah la tak lawa, perangai pun macam baboon. Lagi la teruk.

Ada sorang gurl ni memang selalu email aku. Aku tak berapa paham sebab seingat aku dia nie dah berbalak. Atau sebab aku nie customer company dia…..??? tak nak dekat dua tahun gak la aku tak jumpa dia. Putih gebu. Cutting model ala waheeda. Best sesgt dia tu. Tapi mengenangkan balak dia yg jeles tak tentu pasal tu, ku pendamkan saja dalam ati. Cukupla pernah sekali aku tertackel ada sorang aweq free hair. Kitorang kuar gi klas sesama. Study sesama. Tetau, balak and ex balak dia call!!! Nia apa hal lak nie??? Ex balak dia warning aku jgn kacau Ex dia….Balak dia pulak call aku Tanya dia punye Ex dia ada call aku ke tak. Dia kata ex dia memang emosi tak tentu pasal. Balak dia selalu cakap yg aweq nie selalu citer pasal aku time jumpa. Kekadang aku tak paham idup manusia nie. So aku pun just assume dia macam best friend aku. What a totally loser. Balak dia tak kisah aku kuar ngan aweq dia. Yg penting jgn ehem ehem ngan dia….Huh! Ya Allah! Kenapa mesti dia anggap aku sampai mc tu sekali.

Last time aku contact aweq tu kata dia dah bertudung. Flock studies and try hidup yg baru. Dia selalu anta msg cintan kat aku. But then, aku takkan tertipu dgn manusia macam nie.

Nak kata aku nie ensem tak gak…. Pelik. Mungkin aku bukan org yg mudah perasan kott??? Tapi sejak dua tiga menjak nie, perasaan aku utk berkeluarga tu dah membuak2.  mungkin weeken nie balik kampung aku suruh je ibu aku cari kan.

Ya Allah, Kau tabahkanlah hati ini utk mengharungi hidup ini.  

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